Blog 3.
Why I deleted the Instagram app on my phone for 2 weeks
Confession: I think I'm not alone in that I have a love-hate relationship with social media, and insta for me is the worst - I lose track on how much time I waste on it. It’s amazing how one app can do so much to give me all sorts of emotions - inspired, educated, entertained, but also, sometimes, skeptical, insecure, and recently, downright depressed.
and so... some time last week, I decided I'm going to check myself out of that daily time-wasting routine. I knew it would be a temporary thing, but I needed to physically delete it for a bit. It wasn't too difficult because I also (very) recently became an aunt, a 舅母!! So right around when that happened, I decided I was going to take a break from Instagram for a while. I just really needed to breathe; and it has been SO nice, and also SO nice to have a beautiful little soul to adore during this time - it made me forget a lot of sad things for a moment, and it was amazing.
I don’t know about you, but for me, a new part of growing up that I am starting to love, is meeting new little members in the family or in friendship circles. Even when they’re not necessarily your own, something about the birth of a human being gives you a new kind of perspective, and a new appreciation for simplicity, and feelings of gratefulness and contentment in life as it is, seeing how beautiful and magical the world is again, from the eyes of a new born baby.
And then it is during moments like these, when you witness a new life coming to this world, that always reminds me of my mother. I wish I could still ask her stories about me as a baby... though she's also told me many 🙂
My mother did not grow up in very fortunate circumstances. Her family was a very humble family, and she was the neglected middle child of three girls. She was always underappreciated, always the one to take the blame, always the one that did things wrong. It didn't come easy for her. But she always told herself that she will love her children equally without biases, and she truly did. She became the most successful one amongst her siblings, and she was a really successful power woman, and my first and biggest inspiration.
But she was also a painter, a singer, a daring driver, and a chef. Where she’s from, she enjoyed a very starchy diet of dumplings, noodles and buns... and perhaps that’s why I have this weird obsession that fans know about, with 饅頭s. I got it from her - it was her favorite as a child, no sauce, just plain steamed. I also used to love the 餃子 dumplings she made, they were the best in the world!
She might not be around anymore, but her spirit lives within me and my family's hearts. And I look back upon our memories now with no sorrow but just joy and gratefulness. A lot of things she's told me, all the lessons, the values, I remember vividly still, and make up a lot of who I am today - Working hard to earn what you cherish and care about, being kind to people, understanding different perspectives, and always remembering the importance of family. From her, I learned how to give love unconditionally, forgiveness, and having a big heart. I may never be as selfless as her, but I guess it's a good thing in a way - I wish she took better care of herself. Perhaps if she placed a little bit more attention on herself... she would still be here. I just got too lucky to have a mother like her, and I wish I was there for her sooner, and learned to cherish her sooner.
I guess now as a new aunt, I have this rush of emotions that I cannot fully explain. The world is crazy right now, social media is crazy, the news is crazy... but I pray for similar things for baby niece that my late mother wished for me. Be happy and healthy, don't be spoiled. Be grateful, be kind, be generous. But, also, be able to receive love as much as give love. LISTEN TO YOUR MOMMY!
I am so grateful for the joy and light my baby niece brought me during these tumultuous times in the city, and I just want to focus on that for a little longer... Life is crazy, but for now, I just wanna choose simplicity, and faith.
Welcome to the world, little one! ❤️
And for everyone else, thank you for reading my long blogs, and reading till here. Please let me know what you'd like to hear my share about 🙂 in the mean time, choose love, and bring light. Till next time!
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